Clayton was angry that he repeatedly dreamt of being late for a train, bus, plane, meeting friends etc. In his waking life he was the exact opposite. He took pride in always being punctual, organized and reliable. He despised himself in his dream world. He was mystified as to why he was dreaming of himself doing things he wouldn't 'dream' of doing in his conscious life.
I Have To Be Perfect At All Costs
As a young teenager Clayton had been the victim of prejudice and racisim. He had witnessed cruelty towards members of his family and community. The slurs hurled at his family related to being unreliable, useless, unfit to hold jobs or live with folks of the dominant culture. The only way for him to survive was to be like the "other folk." He had to be better than good to prove that he was worthy of living among the majority.
In late adulthood Clayton's dreams about being late and unreliable - " being bad" haunted him. The dreams came to give him permission to be a little naughty! He had not had a chance to be a rebellious teenager or push against authority to find his own rhythm. The dreams kept nudging him to love all of himself and not just those 'perfect' bits that he had cultivated when he needed to survive as a teenager. What a great gift of freedom his dreams gave him. Do you think he will use it?
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
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