Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Can I Be The Perfect Mother Without Jealousy?

What If I Am Not The Perfect Mother!
Miriam has been longing for a child. She is pregnant and wants to be a perfect mother. Yet she is concerned that she will have to give all her attention to the baby after it is born, and not get any herself. She is worried that she won't be able to be unselfish and patient with her baby. She never had much of a childhood herself and feels a little jealous that her baby will get the chance of a real childhood that she herself never had.

Then she dreams that her baby is born as an adult and all black.

The Calming Gift Of The Balancing Dream
The dream comes to help her balance many contrary emotions. The baby is black, showing that Miriam has both black and white inside her - light and dark aspects of her personality, selfishness and selflessness.

The baby is born fully grown and an adult. The dream balances out her need to be a child and not have to take care of others, with the fact that she is an adult, but can still have childish wishes.

The dream acts as a balancer, giving her comfort that all parts of her are acceptable and normal, healthy and necessary for a full life - as in the creation of her baby. Miriam can be less scared of not being perfect and find ways in which she can be both adult and child as she learns to mother. For in being the adult she is a good responsible care taker. In being a child she identifies with her baby and can feel it's pain, hunger, distress, and need for intimacy.

Working on this dream with me allowed Miriam to enjoy motherhood and get in touch with her unfulfilled needs. She began finding ways in which she could ask for them to be met, and find acceptable ways to receive them. She took big strides in harmonizing her inner chaos - and became the better mother for it!






Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Dreams As Guardian Angels

Don't Do That! It's Dangerous!

A few weeks ago Jane was considering hiring someone to do an expensive job for her. It came on the heels of having spent a lot of money developing and completing a project. She had invested a lot of time and energy in the project, but needed someone with specialized skills to add some finishing touches. She met with the prospective contractor and the following day had this dream:
"It was dark and two women came into my place and stole flowerpots, laughing at me in the process. When I got out of bed I saw that the floor of the hallway had been taken up. I was expecting the mess since I was going to do some remodelling. Then I went into the kitchen. I was shocked and distressed to see the floor taken up there, everything pulled out and misplaced. There was no room for me, and everything was in disarray. The contractor had eaten part of a grapefruit and just left the rest. I was devastated with the state of my kitchen."

Powerful Visual Hint
Jane was given a very powerful visual hint that maybe the contractor she was considering hiring was going to leave things worse than they were before - half done, wasted money, and a messy outcome. She told me about the dream and as we worked on it together, she realised that she could protect her project and embellish it in ways that gave her more control.






Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

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