Here is the next installment in Donna's journey helped by her dreams.
Donna weight feels like a repulsive birthmark!
Donna's struggle with her weight never ends. She always thinks of herself as fat and ugly. Whatever she does to control it never lasts and she is left feeling worse than ever before. When things are going badly for her she feels even fatter and uglier and just wants to walk away from her disgusting body. At rough times when nothing seems to be going right she feels that this is some punishment that she has to suffer just for being who she is. In fact she thinks it's like a repulsive birthmark that is stamped on her and can never be hidden or got rid of.
Donna's painful memories seemed never ending!
Donna began remembering awful things that happened to her as a child and how she couldn't tell anyone. She had to "stuff it" if she wanted to keep the peace and be allowed to stay with her mother and stepfather. The memories were painful and made her feel dirty and unacceptable.
A long hair dream disturbs Donna
It was during one of these bad times that Donna had a dream where she was pulling out hair from her mouth. The hair strands just went on and on and one. There was no end to it. It felt awful when she woke up.
Dead hair shows Donna her weighty emotional gunk
What does the long long hair coming out of her insides mean? Hair is a dead product. Coming out of her mouth it was Donna's waste. Like the memories of her unhappy childhood, the hair just went on and on. Donna was being given an image of how much gunk she had stored inside her, that was making her fatter than she needed to be. By recalling her childhood and understanding it with me, she was able to get a vision of what her emotional stomach was storing. She got a dream picture of it all coming out, and a jolt as to just how much there was to discover, process and let go of.
Slimness and beauty push out the hair and give Donna hope
Immediately after the hair dream, Donna dreamed that she was in Sweden with a friend, and was putting on weight. She stopped putting on weight when she felt she was just right. Her friend showed Donna pictures of her from a previous time when she was much thinner. Donna was astounded that she could ever have been slim and beautiful.
The second dream gives Donna hope that her wish to be thinner has a basis in reality. The photograph is how she once was before she had to store her wretched childhood experiences as fat. Donna's unconscious healer is giving her an image that she can believe in, showing her the real inner beauty she had lost touch with. She is being told that she can eat and control herself, just as she did in the dream - that she isn't doomed to be fat and ugly. Stopping the eating in the dream when she got to a comfortable size tells her that she can find her ideal weight and stay there.
Choice Replaces the Sense of Being Doomed
Donna is beginning to identify with the part of her that can choose her weight. As she worked on her dreams with me, she gained more confidence in herself as a beautiful person inside and outside. She is having more good moments in her life when she can feel worthwhile and lovable.
Copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
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