Celia basked in her father’s attention. She had ever since she was a tiny girl. It was all she lived for. One day her father changed. He became self-absorbed, oblivious to the distress he caused his family. Celia spent the rest of her childhood trying to bring him back to life. She had lost the privilege to be the apple of her father’s eye.
Maybe He Will Notice My Career
After her divorce she grabbed the opportunity to go back to school and study to be a nurse. It’s what she had always wanted to do and hoped it would impress her father.Her accomplishments felt like failures because they weren’t acknowledged by father.
Celia's Dream
One night she had a dream that confused and disturbed her. In the dream she was in a room sitting at a small square table with a King and Queen. The King was writing. There was a door across from Celia behind the Queen. There was a lot of traffic noise coming from outside the door. Celia shut the door. The King looked up in relief. Celia enjoyed knowing she had pleased him. The queen invited her to visit them more often, but the King did not. She was heartbroken.
Get Real!
Celia had given her father ultimate authority to approve of her and make her happy. His were the only blessings that counted, his the only approval that mattered. She refused to take the reins of life in her own hands.
Dad Gets All the Power
The King in Celia’s dream represented the ultimate in authority and power. She had spent her whole life trying to make him notice her by taking care of his comforts, and in so doing had abandoned herself. By shutting the door in the dream, she was shutting out reality - that there was a big, noisy, world, full of life out there. A world that would be responsive, that would welcome her, where she could find acknowledgment and self-worth. Shutting the door made time stand still. She was forever the little girl trying to get Daddy’s attention, and failing.
Message of Equality and Stability
The square shaped table in the dream has a special significance. A square has four equal sides, representing equality. The message for Celia is that as a grown woman she is an equal to her father. She has the entitlement and the power to control her life and create her happiness. A square table has four legs that enable it to balance, and keep it stable. It is a powerful image of stability and balance. Despite the King (father) being busy, the world isn’t shaking.
Celia Gets To Be The Apple Of Her Own Eye
Celia is encouraged to tune into the loving invitation of the Queen, depicting Celia’s nurturing maternal self that she has ignored up to now. The dream tells her that by responding to the Queen she can feel worthwhile. Celia was shown the futility of trying to be daddy’s special girl again. She was given an alternative, that was so much more fruitful. That was to abandon her wish to go back in time and recapture some magic that was no longer available. She was guided to switch from taking care of her unresponsive father to taking care of herself. Rather than trying to impress dad, Celia was better of being the apple of her own eye.
Read an expanded version of this post.
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
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