The power of our dreams

Dreams That Empowers With Confidence and Strength

2011-02-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

Daniel is wrapped up in self-defeat

Daniel continues to have problems finding the confidence to make something of himself in his chosen career in the creative arts. He thinks of himself as a failure.

He felt defeated and purposeless. He felt unloved, alone and just about ready to give up, when his second dream came along to help make him feel empowered.

Listen to all six episodes by listening to the podcast below:

Part 1: Daniel is given a vivid dream image to help rehearse his skills and find his inner resources to be successful.

Part 2: Daniel receives a boost to his confidence and shows that he can be lovable just at the time he is feeling defeated. The same dream rescues him when he is at a new low three years later.

Daniel wants it all and has to split himself in two

Part 3: Daniel is caught between wanting an easy life and being fulfilled as a lovable person. His third dream shows that he can have both, without having to split himself in two pieces. Once again the same dream bails him out some 34 months later when he is faced with a seemingly impossible choice.

Part 4: Daniel's fourth dream shows him how easy it is to get a good high paying job without the grind. He also learns that he doesn't have to buy love and loyalty in order to succeed.

Daniel pretends that outer image is all that matters

Part 5: Daniel learns an important lesson from his fifth dream - that his concern with his outer image is preventing him from finding happiness and love. He learns how to tune into what is really important, and re-learns the same lesson when he gets caught with a similar problem years later.

Daniel finally gets to have the life and love he deserves

Part 6: The sixth dream in this series helped Daniel appreciate that he had the world at his feet and could shape his life to fulfill his wishes to have a loving family and a meaningful career. But he didn't have to throw out his ugly past to do so. Potent dream images helped Daniel focus on his future and came back to remind him several months later -that he still had his life canvas to paint, if he just picked up the brush!

Can dreams get you unstuck and improve your relationships?

2011-01-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

Daniel was unhappy with is life and couldn't get past his need for approval from his family before he did anything and made a success of his life.

Find out how Daniel's dreams helped him get in touch with his inner resources and find a way to get what he wanted in life, feeling good about himself.

Each episode tells you about a blockage Daniel faced and how his dream helped him move out of his stuck place, on several different occasions.

Listen to the full six episodes above

Dream Interpretation and Analysis Service
Want expert professional help with your dreams? Inquire how you too can unlock the meaning of your dreams so that they don't go to waste.

Call 310.985.2491.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Donna's dream helps her reclaim her lovable qualities

2010-05-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

Donna is confused by feelings of anger, sadness and resentment
Donna has gone through some major life changes since she worked on her last dream. Her stepmother died after a long illness leaving Donna with a mixed set of emotions. Despite some sadness, there was a lot of rage about this woman stealing her father away from Donna. Not to mention the deep hurt she harbored about her father choosing another woman over his daughter.

It made her feel unlovable. Her mother’s preoccupation with work and other relationships doubled her sense of feeling unwanted and unloved.

Feeling wanted is a strange uncomfortable experience

After the funeral Donna finally told her father about the anger she had been holding in since she was a young child. She was scared that it would ruin the relationship she had with him, and was surprised when it brought them closer. At the same time she noticed that as she shared her feelings with friends and colleagues, they too drew nearer. Guys were showing an interest in her and she couldn’t understand why. What was going on? It scared her. It felt like pressure to keep the relationships operating at this pitch and that was unbearable. Donna drew back. Feeling alone and unloved was familiar and comforting despite the sadness it evoked.

The dream comes to correct her false beliefsThen she had a dream which helped her begin to change the way she thought about herself.

The dream: I am in Canada at a courtyard with my mother trying to find a table. She wanted to tell me that my stepmother had died. It was a secret and I didn’t tell anyone.

This fragment of a dream had a profound impact on Donna as we worked on it together. Donna had made peace with her stepmother before she died. In fact there was a playfulness about their relationship that made Donna feel welcome, cared for and believed in. Donna had never felt that warmth and acceptance coming from her natural parents. She had grieved the loss, so why was she being told about the death again in her dream?

In the dream Donna’s natural mother shares a secret. The secret was probably that Donna was lovable and had been all along. Donna had to keep this information from another part of herself- from the part of her that held onto the belief that she was unlovable - the part that felt pressured and uncomfortable if she thought she was wanted and loved. Telling Donna about the death of her step mother was a reminder of the relationship with her stepmother, where she experienced a sense of being valued and loved.

Donna's dream interpretation helps her hold onto her lovability
The dream analysis came to help Donna hold onto the reality of being loved and wanted despite the passing of her stepmother. The message was clear - you are lovable whether or not your stepmother is here to show it. It’s a quality that exists naturally in you, and you can now own it with pride.

The scene in an open courtyard suggests that Donna can be open and own her lovable nature. The word Canada has the word ‘can’ embedded in it, giving her permission to reclaim her attractive qualities and be desirable and enjoyed. It was time for her to ‘find a table’ - eat and enjoy her sense of self-worth and attractiveness with significant people in her life. Donna’s dream is inviting her to let them know that she wants, deserves and expects them to show their regard for her as she is now doing for herself.

A Dream of Power and Control Comes to Boost Donna's Confidence

2010-02-14T15:58:00.000-08:00

Why Can't Donna Have The Relationship She Craves?
Recently Donna has felt hopeless about her love life. She was resigned to being single and without children even though it was one of her cherished dreams. She wanted to believe that it could come true but was scared to pin her hopes on it. She kept her dreams safe in her fantasy world where reality couldn't spoil her image. She had relationships with men that were either friendships or sexual liaisons, but never both. She had never experienced the closeness and intimacy of a relationship that had it all.

Reckless Behavior Stuns Donna
At about this time Donna had been taken in by a gypsy in an upscale part of town and gave her $1000 to hear something hopeful about her future. A day or so later it dawned on her - the magnitude of what she had done! She was astounded that a wish to believe in her fantasy just for a moment could make her so reckless and give up her common sense and self-protection. She had given money to friends to help them out, but never just thrown such a large sum on a whim!

A Disturbing Dream Haunts Donna
A couple of months later Donna's next dream startled her. She hated theme parks but there she was in her dream at a fair ground theme park with a friend. She saw a gypsy who promised to tell her important things about her love life.

Donna's friend stayed and took notes, making her feel more comfortable. Donna put her hand on the table and asked the gypsy the cost of the experience. The gypsy said $200, but Donna wouldn't have it. She banged her hand on the table and demanded that the price be no higher than $100. The gypsy backed down as Donna's adamant voice ruled the moment. Two large buzzing things like insects were around her ears making loud noises drowning everything out. Then Donna blacked out. When Donna woke up she saw injection marks all over her arms and wondered what they were.

Donna likes things clean and orderly, so why a seedy dream?
In her waking life Donna never goes to theme parks and fairs. To her they are dirty, seedy and unhygienic places where the low life hang out. The location of the dream represents Donna's emotions that she hates to deal with. To her they are messy and best pushed out of sight. They just cause trouble!! But in her dream she finds out that she can take charge by forcing the gypsy to work on Donna's terms. This suggests that Donna is beginning to realize that she does have a say in how her emotions affect her. They don't have to wipe her out.

The friend in the dream who takes notes is probably the part of Donna who needs to monitor her rash, reckless and impulsive self that just gives herself away, gets robbed and is left with nothing but 'holes' - just like the injection marks on her arms at the end of her dream.

Donna gets a glimpse of her dark, messy side
The gypsy in her dream may be the part of Donna that just aches to make her wishes come true by magic. It is the part of Donna that doesn't want to have to do the work of getting to know someone in all ways and creating a relationship. She had split intimacy, friendship and sex in order to feel safe but ended up unsatisfied and dejected. The gypsy gives her injections as if they were the magic cure, but all she finds are holes.

The dream tells Donna to love her messy side
The message in Donna's dream is that she can survive the pain of the 'injections' which are probably her intense emotions. She doesn't have to black out. She does have a good caretaker part of her that she can rely on, like her friend in the dream. She is being guided to see that the buzzing noise that she hears when emotions get to her is survivable, and makes her strong. She can listen to all parts of herself without being hung out to dry. She can trust her instincts and allow herself a relationship that has it all. She doesn't have to safeguard her dream in a fantasy any more.

If Donna listen's to her dream her future looks brighter and more hopeful
The dream is saying that life and relationships have both the seedy and magical qualities. Donna's acceptance of this unifying reality will allow her to be ready to invite and respond to men who can give her the stability and security she yearns for. If she can accept all her qualities, good and bad, she will be able to share them with a man who will do the same. That's when the intimacy, sex and friendship will mesh together and give Donna peace. But she has to be willing to do the work!

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
From fear and frustration to fulfiling and flourishing relationships.

Take the relationship quiz and discover your relationship security profile

What would you give to keep only the best bits of your past?

2010-01-10T15:12:00.000-08:00

As life continues to pose problems for Donna, her dreams continue to guide her to act in her best interests and to make peace with her past.

Thoughts of holidays and family made Donna's heart sink
As 2009 came to an end, Donna was struggling with the lack of motivation she felt at the thought of the same old Christmas and New Year rituals with family members. She didn't want to go through these meaningless experiences just to feel part of a family.

Donna wanted to shake things up and have more choice in how the holiday time was spent. She also wanted to get away from pretending to feel grateful for whatever her parents had planned. Her desire to make some choices of her own and do things her way made her antsy. How was she going to organize it without upsetting the apple cart?

Donna is caught between keeping the old and wanting something new
There was also the complicating factor of an upcoming loss of her family home. Her parents were selling it and moving to a smaller place with no room for visitors. Donna was caught between wanting to enjoy the family home before it was gone forever, and her wish to celebrate the holidays in a wildly different manner.

A dream gives Donna her wish - something old and something new
Then came the dream that helped her with her conflict. Donna dreamed that she was walking into her family home and into her old bedroom. There was a huge box in there. When she opened it she found some old clothes, jewelry, candy, books, scarves and pizza pieces. She began to sift through the items and pick out what she wanted to keep. She found pieces of pizza and candy that looked edible. She discovered some retro jewelry that she had loved and some clothes that she had bought to go with her unusual and precious jewelry pieces. The rest of the stuff seemed stale, and not part of her any longer. She felt a sense of peace and comfort at finding these things that she had forgotten about.

Donna gets to select from her past and make new relationships out of them
Donna's dream gave her the opportunity to go back into her childhood and retrieve things that were important and meaningful, like the pizza and candy she had never been allowed to eat. Now she could give herself permission to eat it without worrying about being judged and ridiculed about her weight. Now she could dress as she pleased rather than please her mother. Now she didn't have to put her choices and desires on hold.

The wounds of the past are fashioned into fresh connections of equality
Just as she went back to her childhood room in her dream, the message to Donna was to do so in real life before the family home was sold. Donna was being encouraged to go back, take the memories she wanted, bury the ones she no longer needed to hold onto, and create new ones over the holidays. She was being shown that she had a choice in how to remember her past by digging through the box of painful childhood and adolescence and closing the wounds that still had the power to sting.

Fear of loss is transformed into more meaningful family life
Donna used her dream to great advantage. She took the lead and invited each family member to do something with her that was unique and special. That old ways were being buried in the box of the past. Donna was going to create new connections, having the courage and entitlement to eat what she wanted, wear what she liked and be what she felt was true to herself. She also returned to her old room and collected things that she wanted to keep including family photographs and her art work that she was now ready to reacquaint herself with again.

Donna was energized by the message of her dream. Instead of feeling sad about the loss of the family house, she let it go with her bad and sad memories. She decided to build new memories with her parents as they transitioned to their new home. Donna realized she could establish new and more equal connections with her folks as she was no longer bound and trapped by the rigid roles of the past that the house represented.

Donna's dream sets her free and in charge of her emotional life
In 2010 Donna emerged with new convictions about her right and freedom to have the type of relationships she wanted to have with her family. She makes the suggestions about where they will meet and what activities they will share. She wears the bits of the past that are meaningful and creates new webs of interaction that make her feel good about herself. She remains surprised as to how readily her family have responded to her taking charge!

Copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Take the relationship quiz and discover your relationship security profile.

Can Your Dream Help You Lose Weight?

2009-12-06T13:39:00.000-08:00

Here is the next installment in Donna's journey helped by her dreams.

Donna weight feels like a repulsive birthmark!
Donna's struggle with her weight never ends. She always thinks of herself as fat and ugly. Whatever she does to control it never lasts and she is left feeling worse than ever before. When things are going badly for her she feels even fatter and uglier and just wants to walk away from her disgusting body. At rough times when nothing seems to be going right she feels that this is some punishment that she has to suffer just for being who she is. In fact she thinks it's like a repulsive birthmark that is stamped on her and can never be hidden or got rid of.

Donna's painful memories seemed never ending!
Donna began remembering awful things that happened to her as a child and how she couldn't tell anyone. She had to "stuff it" if she wanted to keep the peace and be allowed to stay with her mother and stepfather. The memories were painful and made her feel dirty and unacceptable.

A long hair dream disturbs Donna
It was during one of these bad times that Donna had a dream where she was pulling out hair from her mouth. The hair strands just went on and on and one. There was no end to it. It felt awful when she woke up.

Dead hair shows Donna her weighty emotional gunk
What does the long long hair coming out of her insides mean? Hair is a dead product. Coming out of her mouth it was Donna's waste. Like the memories of her unhappy childhood, the hair just went on and on. Donna was being given an image of how much gunk she had stored inside her, that was making her fatter than she needed to be. By recalling her childhood and understanding it with me, she was able to get a vision of what her emotional stomach was storing. She got a dream picture of it all coming out, and a jolt as to just how much there was to discover, process and let go of.

Slimness and beauty push out the hair and give Donna hope
Immediately after the hair dream, Donna dreamed that she was in Sweden with a friend, and was putting on weight. She stopped putting on weight when she felt she was just right. Her friend showed Donna pictures of her from a previous time when she was much thinner. Donna was astounded that she could ever have been slim and beautiful.

The second dream gives Donna hope that her wish to be thinner has a basis in reality. The photograph is how she once was before she had to store her wretched childhood experiences as fat. Donna's unconscious healer is giving her an image that she can believe in, showing her the real inner beauty she had lost touch with. She is being told that she can eat and control herself, just as she did in the dream - that she isn't doomed to be fat and ugly. Stopping the eating in the dream when she got to a comfortable size tells her that she can find her ideal weight and stay there.

Choice Replaces the Sense of Being Doomed
Donna is beginning to identify with the part of her that can choose her weight. As she worked on her dreams with me, she gained more confidence in herself as a beautiful person inside and outside. She is having more good moments in her life when she can feel worthwhile and lovable.

Copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Take the relationship quiz and find out your profile of relationship security.

Ever Watched Yourself Explode Into Tiny Pieces in Your Dream?

2009-09-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

Why dream of destruction when everything is going so well?
Donna's next dream was really scary. She was watching herself get blown up and bits of her were flying all around. What a way to wake up? It came the night after she got a job doing some interior decorating for a big name company. So why such a nightmare?

You remember Donna who's dream about letting her inner security guard be a little more forgiving? That dream came true when she allowed herself to experience being liked no matter what she looked like. Well this next dream was really showing her how her life was changing.

The dream is full of crashing and burning, but Donna stays peaceful
Donna dreamed that she was driving a plane that looked like a pod, in the dark. It had no wings. She had no idea where she was going. But she wasn't alarmed. Something told her she was going where she needed to go. She felt she could trust the journey. Her plane rose to the top of a hill. She drove the plane down the hill and saw a huge bi- plane crash on top of some orange metal pipes which were shaped in the form of an 'x'. She slammed on the brakes and her pod circled the crashed plane before landing.

Donna and the pod exploded. She watches herself explode. Bits of her jaw and teeth were flung away!

Donna rises from the ashes stronger, more trusting and true to herself
Donna's dream is about her personal journey of growth - full of fire, destruction but also rejuvenation. She came to a make or break point in her life where she needed to slow down and choose a healthy pathway. Her pod reaching the top of the hill was this critical moment. She circles the old parts of her represented by the bi-plane, giving it the last rights. She knows that her old self was the false or 'wrong' her, just as the Orange 'x' shaped pipes indicated. She watches the old false self explode. But she isn't upset.

She sees bits of her teeth and jaw scatter. Teeth and jaws are symbols of determination and will power. In the dream she is giving up her hold on the old ways of her life that brought her little happiness or peace. She doesn't need to die with the old stuff, but to get rid of all the old heavy junk that wasn't very useful. Now that she is rid of the burden of the old ways, she is free to be her real self.

The dream is helping her realize that the interior design job is one of the new things in her life that she created because she dared to trust herself and go with her instincts. It is encouraging and validating.

The first signs of disease or a lowered immune system can be found in the mouth. Unhealthy gums, teeth and tongue are indications that your health is poor. Donna's unhealthy teeth and jaw were ripped from her in this dream. She gets to let her strong permanent teeth come through and thrive in a mouth that is clean, and smells good. Tune in to her next few dreams to learn how she decided to be healthy, wealthy and wise.

Donna's relationships were not satisfying because of the negative way she perceived herself.
Find out how your relationship style impacts your connections at http://drjeanetteraymond.com/how_likely_you_are/

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Donna's dream about the security guard comes true

2009-09-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

Do you remember Donna and her dream about a security guard? Donna was torn between looking good and being smart, and the security guard in her dream helped her to see that she could be both smart and good looking.

Three days later the dream came true.
Donna was asked to do an acting part for a commercial. Normally she would have felt ugly, heavy, unattractive and not fit for the role. But after her dream she allowed her fellow actor to put his arm around her without thinking that she was disgusting to him. She didn't go through her usual checklist of all the reasons why she shouldn't be hired, and that she was only being used to make a point about fat people.

Donna is comfortable with herself and shines
Behaving as a balanced security guard she was able to feel good in her own skin. Donna was in the moment and enjoying the job. She was relaxed, had fun and saw that no one was making fun or her, no one was making her out to be stupid, or putting her in any category. Donna saw herself as the others saw her - smart and sexy, funny and serious, hard working and willing to take risks.

Donna learns to be natural and it works!
Donna's dream about the security guard made her ready for this experience. It showed her that she can trust people's view of her and be the wonderful talented person that she was. Without having the dream and working on it with me, Donna might well have blown the whole thing!

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Do Your Actions Come Back To Bite You?

2009-08-06T12:09:00.000-07:00

Self-Confidence or Power Trip?
Lucas was clear about his criteria for success - managing everything by himself. Asking for help was a failure and a sign of weakness. He was determined never to let other people have power over him by needing their help or advice. That meant becoming a machine that could tackle anything without feelings getting in the way. He wanted to prove he wasn't scared of anything or anyone.

Revenge Gives Lucas a Sense of Power
He fantasized about sticking it to his old school mates who made fun of his efforts to shoot during their hunting trips. Lucas had been afraid of guns and didn't want to show that he didn't approve of killing animals for sport. Now he felt like he could "kill" anything! He woke up most mornings telling the world to "bring it on!"

The Dream Brings Lucas Back to Earth
A dream woke Lucas one morning that shattered his sense of confidence. He dreamed that he was out skeet shooting. There were lots of other people around watching. People from his past life, family, friends, and school mates. He shot at a can, the gun sprang back and hurt him in the face. It turned back and bit him!!

Bravado Backfires and Turns to Self-destruction
Lucas's dream was a wake up call that he had gone too far in his efforts to feel in control and powerful. Lucas wanted to show off in front of all the people in his life - all those who had mocked his fear of guns, who had ribbed him unmercifully. The dream showed Lucas that he had become just like them, interested in the kill to display his prowess. He was using his power to feel superior and denegrate others rather than to make his life meaningful and satisfying.

Sabotaging Power or Care Taking Power?
Lucas got a visceral punch when the gun spring backfired and hit him in the face - the one part of him that interacts with the world. He was given the message that his determination to go it alone, pretend he could manage without the normal give and take in relationships was not in his best interests. Lucas was in fact sabotaging himself. He was hurting himself by ignoring his need for compassion, collaboration, team work, love and understanding. His dream showed him just how destructive a path he had chosen. He was in grave danger of killing off all the good healthy parts of himself just to satisfy his ego.

Using The Dream Message Profitably
Lucas worked with me on this dream. We discovered that he didn't know the difference between power to hurt and power to stick up for yourself. He began to develop and appreciate the power of his personality, his compassion, his loyalty, his sense of right and wrong. Lucas didn't need to fight with other people to prove his manliness or to warn people not to mess with him. Lucas realized that not everyone in the world was out to screw him, and that he had ample capacity to protect himself using his sense of worth and the right to be treated respectfully.

Lucas was lucky to have the dream and work out what it meant in his work with me. Lucas is now able to consider his choice of action when he feels mocked or made fun of. He asks himself whether his response is an act of bravado likely to recoil back on himself, just like the spring of the gun in his dream, or whether it is an act of self-respect and growth.

Stay tuned for more about Lucas and his personal growth through his dreams

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph. D.

What'sYour Inner Security Guard Up To?

2009-06-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

Donna's last dream helped her deal with a conflict regarding her relationship with her father. As she continues her personal journey she was faced with a new problem.

How could she look good and hang on to her intelligence, confidence and ability to make good decisions?

It bothered her that she couldn't loose weight and look good because it would mean telling the world that she was just an object. Women who looked good seemed like a hollow shell, where the outside looked good but with nothing of substance inside. If she stayed like she was and focused only on her smarts, she would end up lonely and sad. People would only want her for her intellect. Quite a dilemma.

Dream to the rescue
As she struggled with this awful choice Donna dreamed that she lived in a beautiful stylish apartment building that had excellent security. She saw a young blond good looking woman approach the security desk claiming to be Donna. But Donna was already in her own apartment! She watched the security guard allow the impostor in without checking the records. Donna showed her anger to the security guard who didn't know what she was doing wrong. Donna was furious that this bone headed security guard would be so lax. She was even more furious that the security guard had no concern about not doing a good job.

How Donna's Dream Helped Her With Her Difficult Choice
As we talked about the dream we discovered that Donna had a very vigilant security guard inside her psyche. Her security guard kept her appearance and intelligence separate in order to protect her from getting hurt and feeling bad about herself. Going with the looks was a big risk of getting guys who just hit on her, so it was safer to stress her brainy side. If they just wanted her intellect she would never raise her hopes about being wanted for her physical appearance.

The Dream Removed The Need To Choose
Donna was paying too big a price for this separation. Her security guard was too good. So her dream showed her that it was okay to be less rigid. It was fine for her to give space to her need to look appealing and to her smart brain. The dream took away the burden of having to choose. She was being given permission by her own internal healer via the dream that it was safe to meld these two strangers and make them a whole person.

Two weeks later Donna attended a party where she was showing some of her creative works. For the first time ever, she didn't hate her looks and didn't imagine that everyone was judging her badly. She allowed herself to take in the praise and compliments of her family and friends. Both parts of her were given equal weight and by thinking of herself as a whole person, she invited others to do likewise.

Donna Enjoys Better Relationships and is More Comfortable With Herself
Now Donna doesn't have to worry about whether she is attractive OR smart and which part of her she should show the world. She has both, and as she gets more comfortable with them at the same table, she will get have more satisfying relationships. She is more in touch with her internal security guard who can use her good judgement as to when it necessary to be extra vigilant and when it is safe to be less rigid. Donna's new found flexibility makes her more open to good things.

Should Donna Give Up Or Keep Trying ?

2009-03-07T17:07:00.000-08:00

Donna's Dilemma
Donna was heartbroken that all the time and energy she had devoted to building a relationship with her father seemed to end in tatters. Now she was angry and no longer willing to do anything to please him, just to stay on his radar.

She didn't want to lose him completely either. She had a dilemma that troubled her. Should she give up on him and move on with her life, or should she just see him occasionally and keep her feelings to herself?

Donna's Body reacts To The Stress
A week ago they had fallen out. Donna's feelings were a mess. One part of her wanted to sever the ties altogether and punish him, while another part of her longed for the dad she always hoped to have, the kind of dad her best friend enjoyed. Her feelings were so chaotic that she broke out in a rash, all over her chest and arms, her face and neck. The rash expressed her conflict, the red raw anger that she didn't know what to do with.

A Dream Comes To Help Donna Solve Her Dilemma
The night before she was to meet her father after their last blow out, Donna dreamt that she bought tons of wax and removed all the hair from her legs, arms and other places. It didn't hurt and it felt good. The wax was warm, like honey and comforting. It came off without stinging her, making her feel strong.

What Message Is The Dream Giving To Donna?
Body hair is a protective shield. It protects against the cold, and shields the skin from the sun, preventing dehydration and wrinkles. So in her dream Donna was able to remove that protective layer without feeling any sting or pain. She was being shown that she was strong enough to stand up to her father's stinging remarks, and coldness. She didn't need to protect herself against him. Nor did she need to protect her father from her rage, disappointment, and hurt.

Making Use of Her Dream
The meeting with her father was not as bad as she had imagined. Donna was able to express some of her feelings without fear of losing her father for good. He didn't walk away or shut her up. Donna's dream gave her a wonderful image of strength and power, that no longer had to be a solid ball of anger inside her. Like the wax in her dream, it melted and with it took away the fears that had chained her for so long.

Now she has a better chance of having a more honest relationship with her father, on her own terms.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Who is the Terrorist in Your life?

2009-01-24T15:41:00.000-08:00

Freda the Mother is Scared
The Dream:The men with beards were after her again. Those men were chasing her, brandishing long knives. They were running after Freda and her children. Freda was desperate to protect her children from this bloodthirsty group. She is scared that she is not going to be able to safeguard her children. Powerless against these violent men Freda feels like a bad and inadequate parent.

Shame and Fear Keep The Dream A Secret
Freda had this dream repeatedly for a long period of time. She always woke up scared. She never told anyone about it. It was kind of shameful that she was having nightmares about being a bad parent.

The Dream Images Throw Light on Freda's Fears
Then Freda came to one of my dream workshops. She told me the dream and drew the scary images on a whiteboard. The sketches showed huge sword like knives with large wide sharp blades used to behead people in mythology and ancient history. The men's beards gave them an aura of wisdom but the fierce righteousness and authority of religious elders, where Freda had lived as a child.

Freda the Daughter is Slashed by her Mother's Sharp Tongue
All through Freda's life her mother had criticized her. She continued to criticize Freda's way of bringing up her children, making Freda feel bad. Her mother's words always cut her with their sharpness, like the knives in her dream. Freda began to speak of herself in equally harsh and critical ways. She saw little to love in herself.

The Dream Shows Freda Her Dilemma
Threats of attack in the dream represented the assault that Freda felt from her mother's tongue, breaking down her self-esteem and making her feel inadequate. But now Freda has children of her of her own, and she doesn't want them to have the same experience. She wants to get them away from the cruel demeaning voice of her mother, symbolized by the elderly vicious men in the dream.

The men appeared in her dream to show her that she had taken in her mother's mean tone and made it her own, by always putting herself down.

Standing Up To The Ogre
In her dream Freda never actually got attacked and nor did her children. The message here is that no matter how powerful the men appear to be, she is safe and can stand up to them. By protecting her children in the dream, she was also protecting the part of her that now needed to stand up to the ogre of a mother in real life and the one that lived inside Freda.

Turning the Power Into a Positive Force
Freda had allowed all her power to be invested in her critical voice, that she adopted from her mother, making her feel no good. Her dream came to tell her that she could use that power differently, to make herself feel good, as a human being, a woman, a wife and a daughter.

The Outcome
A year later I bumped into Freda at a coffee shop. She came over to hug me and thanked me profusely for helping her figure out what her dream meant. She said she never had that dream again, and had taken steps to build firmer boundaries with her mother. She felt good about herself and was more in charge of her life. Her inner voice was so much more loving.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Hostage to Approval From Loved Ones?

2008-12-31T18:02:00.000-08:00

Desperate For Dad's Approval
Celia basked in her father’s attention. She had ever since she was a tiny girl. It was all she lived for. One day her father changed. He became self-absorbed, oblivious to the distress he caused his family. Celia spent the rest of her childhood trying to bring him back to life. She had lost the privilege to be the apple of her father’s eye.

Maybe He Will Notice My Career
After her divorce she grabbed the opportunity to go back to school and study to be a nurse. It’s what she had always wanted to do and hoped it would impress her father.Her accomplishments felt like failures because they weren’t acknowledged by father.

Celia's Dream
One night she had a dream that confused and disturbed her. In the dream she was in a room sitting at a small square table with a King and Queen. The King was writing. There was a door across from Celia behind the Queen. There was a lot of traffic noise coming from outside the door. Celia shut the door. The King looked up in relief. Celia enjoyed knowing she had pleased him. The queen invited her to visit them more often, but the King did not. She was heartbroken.

Get Real!
Celia had given her father ultimate authority to approve of her and make her happy. His were the only blessings that counted, his the only approval that mattered. She refused to take the reins of life in her own hands.

Dad Gets All the Power
The King in Celia’s dream represented the ultimate in authority and power. She had spent her whole life trying to make him notice her by taking care of his comforts, and in so doing had abandoned herself. By shutting the door in the dream, she was shutting out reality - that there was a big, noisy, world, full of life out there. A world that would be responsive, that would welcome her, where she could find acknowledgment and self-worth. Shutting the door made time stand still. She was forever the little girl trying to get Daddy’s attention, and failing.

Message of Equality and Stability
The square shaped table in the dream has a special significance. A square has four equal sides, representing equality. The message for Celia is that as a grown woman she is an equal to her father. She has the entitlement and the power to control her life and create her happiness. A square table has four legs that enable it to balance, and keep it stable. It is a powerful image of stability and balance. Despite the King (father) being busy, the world isn’t shaking.

Celia Gets To Be The Apple Of Her Own Eye
Celia is encouraged to tune into the loving invitation of the Queen, depicting Celia’s nurturing maternal self that she has ignored up to now. The dream tells her that by responding to the Queen she can feel worthwhile. Celia was shown the futility of trying to be daddy’s special girl again. She was given an alternative, that was so much more fruitful. That was to abandon her wish to go back in time and recapture some magic that was no longer available. She was guided to switch from taking care of her unresponsive father to taking care of herself. Rather than trying to impress dad, Celia was better of being the apple of her own eye.

Read an expanded version of this post.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

If Only I Had Listened To My Dream!

2008-09-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

SOMETHING SERIOUS IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

Ever had that “if only I had known” feeling? Dreams that come over and over again may be trying to give you a heads up about something serious that is going to happen in your life. Maureen an event organizer for a non-profit agency had been doing the job of eight people for quite some time. She never asked for help despite being constantly overwhelmed. Nor did she seek treatment for the cataracts that were compromising her eye sight. A perplexing dream made her take a couple hours out of her schedule to consult with me.

THE IMPOSSIBLE EXPECTATION

In her dream Maureen assisted a man with voter registration. He had to study for a test by 9:00 p.m. that night in order to qualify- an impossible task. He insisted on voting locally although he was planning to go abroad. Maureen felt frustrated with this ridiculous request. Her bosses told her the man could register in the morning if she signed off on his study requirements. She didn’t want to lie and felt trapped by this dilemma.

AT ODDS WITH YOURSELF

The dream precisely depicted Maureen’s conflict. The man in the dream represented the dichotomy within Maureen that she had ignored, the wish to work and the desire to play. She had focused only on work. Her dream came to remind her that both are necessary for wholesome living. The odd number nine suggested something incomplete, and at odds with natural rhythms . The time crunch in the dream was a wake up call urging Maureen to stop ‘signing off’ on her one track path in life. She needed to ‘register’ this challenge and cast her vote for a balanced existence, before her cataracts blinded her to the joys of a full life.

HOW MUCH WORSE DOES IT HAVE TO GET

Maureen was moved by the analysis of her dream. She seemed intent on change, but she ignored her dream yet again. A few weeks later I learned that she had become ill and was forced to stop working. How much more drastic will the consequences have to be before she pays attention?

WHY WASTE YOUR DREAM MESSAGE?

Join a Dream Group, share your dreams with relatives and friends, consult a therapist who specializes in dreams and art representing dreams.

RESOURCE: Paint Your Pain Away, is for anyone who has the desire to use art as one tool to help with the healing process. Find your creative expression, and tap into your intuition to bring you inner allignment. Turbulent feelings often arise as you explore your depths through art. Consult with an experienced psychotherapist to help you manage and gain the benefit of your emotional experience. For more information contact Grace Comisso info@paintyourpainaway.com.

Not That Same Dream Again!

2008-09-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

Why Won't This Dream Get Lost?

Do you wake up puzzled by the same weird dream over and over again? Does the dream seems to come out of the blue, unrelated to your current circumstances and make no sense at all? Are you left with lingering images and sensations that interfere with your mood? Recurrent dreams can be quite disturbing. They are powerful messages from your unconscious urging you to pay attention to some aspect of your life that can no longer be ignored.

Unfinished Business

Thirty-six year old Brandon’s life began , the day he got his realtors license three years ago. Everything in life was wonderful except for this strange dream that kept interfering with his happiness. In the dreams he was back at the dental clinic subbing during staff shortages. Brandon couldn’t understand why he was dreaming about a job he hated, never gave a second thought to, and had run away from to become a realtor.

Solving The Mystery
Unsettled by the persistent regularity of this unwelcome dream, Brandon consulted me on this mystery. We discovered that Brandon had some unfinished business back in that clinic. Brandon choked up as he recalled leaving abruptly, without any marker of this huge transition. This was the first time he felt the wrench that he had anesthetized himself against for so long. He had walked away from his title as a doctor of dentistry, become estranged from his colleagues who had been like family, and given up working with his hands, a skill he had honed to perfection. He had treated these aspects of himself as if they were irritating particles of flaky skin.

Dealing With The Issue
After his surprise emotional reaction to the sharing of the dream, Brandon returned to the clinic. He found the corpse of his previous life, and gave it a decent burial with all the funeral rites it deserved. He celebrated the dead person rather than pretend it had never lived. Now he was free to return to the land of the living. The dream had done it’s job. It never returned.

Copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Is Your Dream About Being Lost The Same As My Dream About Being Lost?

2008-01-13T16:44:00.000-08:00

Tiffany's Dream. Tall, slim and friendly Tiffany had a busy life with her charities and community work. She had good friends and was involved with helping her neighbors. She was in the third quarter of her life which seemed to be going well. There was nothing particular she wanted to do, no special ambition or dream to fulfill. Regrets were few and far between. She was puzzled that she would dream over and over again about being lost. In her dream she would set out on foot and then all of a sudden feel completely lost. She could hear the traffic on the freeway and see roads around her, but she didn't have a clue where she was or where she was supposed to be going. There was no resolution in the dreams, and she woke up feeling confused.

Marsha's Dream. An articulate and forceful personality Marsha, also in her golden years knew exactly where she wanted to go, and made every effort to get there in life. Her constant and frustrating dream involved trying to get to a specific place in the city at night. The darkness was countered by street lights. Each time Marsha saw a door or a corner of the street that appeared to be a sign post for the pathway towards her destination, she would rush to get there, feeling energized that she was on the right road. But as soon as she reached the corner she would realize that it was not the right one, and feel lost.

Both ladies were on journeys and both experienced a sense of being lost. What do these dreams want to tell the dreamers?

Tiffany's focus on other people is fulfilling to some extent. Enough to make her life reasonably comfortable. But she has not asked herself what her purpose in life is. She has not discovered where her journey is to take her, and what path she should follow to get there. As her life is coming into it's final phase, Tiffany's dream is begging her to search inside herself for something to complete her as a person. It is inviting her to stop focusing all her energies on other people as that is merely an avoidance of herself. That is why in her dream she doesn't know where she is going, and feels lost. She has LOST herself. She is being given a big hint to find herself and take one of the roads towards her life's purpose to bring true meaning into it. Whether it is a freeway to fast track her journey, or get back on the right road while on foot, she needs to find out what she is here on earth to be and do before it is too late.

Marsha on the other hand knows exactly what she wants and knows precisely where to get it. Or she thinks she does!! The darkness of night in her dream suggests she is not looking at the objects of her desire with a clear lens. She gets false signals and she gets her hopes up, only to find them dashed. Marsha idealizes the things she wants. They become much grander in her mind than they really are, and she is badly let down when the promise isn't delivered. Her dream is telling her to see more clearly, to use the daylight of reason, rather than the darkness of her ideals which skew the reality.

Marsha's frustration that her expectations are not met is due to her wanting something unreal, something perfect. Her patient and returning dream reminds her to balance her ideals with reality so that she will not be so disappointed and actually feel like she is getting something useful. Marsha has LOST her earth wire, the one that grounds the energy when you put on the switch. She will either explode with anger and disappointment or keep being frustrated if she doesn't begin to see things the way they really are and enjoy them accordingly.

So two dreams about being lost have two very different meanings for the dreamers. Yet both women are 'lost'. Tiffany is lost because she has never examined herself and discovered the purpose of her life. Marsha is lost because she she is trying to find something that doesn't exist.

COPYRIGHT JEANETTE RAYMOND, Ph.D.

What Story is Your Biography Going to Tell?

2007-10-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

Living Vicariously
Cyrus groaned as he marked his 8th grade students Social Studies test papers. He felt worn out and turned on the television. The suspense of American Idol thrilled him for a few exhilarating seconds before he gave into the nagging voice of duty. He got up to prepare for classes tomorrow and strangled his brief vicarious encounter with show business.

The Day of Judgement
That night Cyrus had the same dream that had visited him often over the past few years. In the dream he was about to take a test to get his Masters Degree in history. There was a large book with tiny print that he should have studied, but Cyrus had never opened it, and now his day of judgment had arrived. He woke up from the dream with his heart pounding and a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach - just as he had on previous occasions when this dream pierced his moment of awakening. He trudged through the day pushing the remnants of this raw sensation out of his mind.

Unfulfilled Hopes and Ambitions
Cyrus wanted to be an actor and dancer but never took classes or tried out at auditions. He choked off his fantasies with the safety of teaching and the respectable duties of parenthood. Any whiff of longing was smothered with blankets of defeatist comments choking off the air supply. Cyrus’s dream returned several times to remind him of his true yearnings. How would he feel when it came time to read his personal history? When his final exam rated him on whether he had honored his authentic self, what grade would he get? Cyrus’s persistent dream begged him to proof read the manuscript of his life to date before it went into print. Finding a way to be involved with the performing arts would be like editing the content of his biography. What a celebration awaits him as he is awarded his ‘degree’ - that of ‘mastering’ his journey through life without regrets.

Will Cyrus take notice of his powerful dream? What do you think?

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Permission to be a little naughty

2007-09-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

I Do What's Right! How Dare My Dream Make Me A Bad Person!

Clayton was angry that he repeatedly dreamt of being late for a train, bus, plane, meeting friends etc. In his waking life he was the exact opposite. He took pride in always being punctual, organized and reliable. He despised himself in his dream world. He was mystified as to why he was dreaming of himself doing things he wouldn't 'dream' of doing in his conscious life.

I Have To Be Perfect At All Costs
As a young teenager Clayton had been the victim of prejudice and racisim. He had witnessed cruelty towards members of his family and community. The slurs hurled at his family related to being unreliable, useless, unfit to hold jobs or live with folks of the dominant culture. The only way for him to survive was to be like the "other folk." He had to be better than good to prove that he was worthy of living among the majority.

In late adulthood Clayton's dreams about being late and unreliable - " being bad" haunted him. The dreams came to give him permission to be a little naughty! He had not had a chance to be a rebellious teenager or push against authority to find his own rhythm. The dreams kept nudging him to love all of himself and not just those 'perfect' bits that he had cultivated when he needed to survive as a teenager. What a great gift of freedom his dreams gave him. Do you think he will use it?

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Dreams As Wake Up Calls

2007-08-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

Tania Wants to get Accolades
Tania wanted a job where she could be recognized and lauded for her talents. She rejected taking jobs where she wouldn't be special and important. She preferred to suffer unemployment than take a job with anything less than immediate accolades. She envied those who had made a name for themselves and earned respect and financial rewards.

In her early forties she had a dream as follows:
"I was in a swimming contest and came first in the race. Everybody clapped and cheered and I felt happy and proud. I was picked for the Olympic swim team. I knew that my team were getting ready to take part in the relay race. I didn't how to get to the right place. I noticed the time on a big clock which meant that the race had begun. I heard the announcer on television comment on the race and I kept asking where the pool was. By the time I got there the race was over and I had not been part of the Olympic tournament."

Watch it! You May Miss The Boat
Tayna is getting a visual message that if she doesn't pay attention to the time, she will have missed the boat in her life. Waiting for the perfect job without tracking the way the world is moving means that she will be passed by and forsake the chance to make something of her life. The dream is encouraging her to get her head out of the clouds( the pride of the praise and cheers) and look at the clock of her life ticking away, to stay on the ground with her fellow humans ( the team) in order to have some achievement and meaning in life. If not, the dream shows her that she will be disappointed, left out, and forgotten.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Dreams are excellent wake up calls for us if we bother to pay attention to them and work on their meaning within a group, with a close friend or in therapy.

Can I Be The Perfect Mother Without Jealousy?

2007-07-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

What If I Am Not The Perfect Mother!
Miriam has been longing for a child. She is pregnant and wants to be a perfect mother. Yet she is concerned that she will have to give all her attention to the baby after it is born, and not get any herself. She is worried that she won't be able to be unselfish and patient with her baby. She never had much of a childhood herself and feels a little jealous that her baby will get the chance of a real childhood that she herself never had.

Then she dreams that her baby is born as an adult and all black.

The Calming Gift Of The Balancing Dream
The dream comes to help her balance many contrary emotions. The baby is black, showing that Miriam has both black and white inside her - light and dark aspects of her personality, selfishness and selflessness.

The baby is born fully grown and an adult. The dream balances out her need to be a child and not have to take care of others, with the fact that she is an adult, but can still have childish wishes.

The dream acts as a balancer, giving her comfort that all parts of her are acceptable and normal, healthy and necessary for a full life - as in the creation of her baby. Miriam can be less scared of not being perfect and find ways in which she can be both adult and child as she learns to mother. For in being the adult she is a good responsible care taker. In being a child she identifies with her baby and can feel it's pain, hunger, distress, and need for intimacy.

Working on this dream with me allowed Miriam to enjoy motherhood and get in touch with her unfulfilled needs. She began finding ways in which she could ask for them to be met, and find acceptable ways to receive them. She took big strides in harmonizing her inner chaos - and became the better mother for it!

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Dreams As Guardian Angels

2007-07-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

Don't Do That! It's Dangerous!

A few weeks ago Jane was considering hiring someone to do an expensive job for her. It came on the heels of having spent a lot of money developing and completing a project. She had invested a lot of time and energy in the project, but needed someone with specialized skills to add some finishing touches. She met with the prospective contractor and the following day had this dream:
"It was dark and two women came into my place and stole flowerpots, laughing at me in the process. When I got out of bed I saw that the floor of the hallway had been taken up. I was expecting the mess since I was going to do some remodelling. Then I went into the kitchen. I was shocked and distressed to see the floor taken up there, everything pulled out and misplaced. There was no room for me, and everything was in disarray. The contractor had eaten part of a grapefruit and just left the rest. I was devastated with the state of my kitchen."

Powerful Visual Hint
Jane was given a very powerful visual hint that maybe the contractor she was considering hiring was going to leave things worse than they were before - half done, wasted money, and a messy outcome. She told me about the dream and as we worked on it together, she realised that she could protect her project and embellish it in ways that gave her more control.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.